My first online "hubby" and friend

As promised in the last entry I am making a separate entry for the guy I "married" on a RPG site.

Lol you know sitting here recalling those days, I realized that I dont remember what his user name was, or even his real life name. Must have blocked it from memory (or the senility is taking over). Hmm went and looked, was odd seeing all those old names again. Endymion Estel is what he changed it to. Edit: Phillip! That was his name.

As said I asked this guy to marry me on this site (rp marriage, not real). He had complimented a post I had made and I dived right in there seeing an opportunity to finally get married on this site.
It worked too, as he said yes :P

I dont know how many times I have regretted meeting him since, I think I lost count along the way :(

It all started out great, he was a real sweet guy, a real ladies friend and attentive, loving and caring and didnt go further than role playing a kiss on the cheek and huggles (I love huggles, mix between hug and cuddle). What more could I ask for? I didnt want to go further with it either, I wasnt interested in it becoming an online romance either, so I thought it was great that he kept that distance when it came to role playing us together.

We had tons of AIM group chats back then, hours of fun. And many times we would also role play in these chats.

He would tell me loads of stuff about himself, and i would believe every single word of it, even if at times there was a nagging voice at the back of me head that said otherwise. I was an internet noob and an extremely trusting person. So I bought it all, every last word.

He was rich, he lived alone, he worked for some huge firm. His dad was dead and cant remember if his mom was too. He had Estel as a middle name. He was chosen to vote when it was Oscar time (for a movie) He lived in a huge house and had over a 1000 books. He remodeled part of the house to make an elven themed library. He wrote tons of poems. Was exceptionally good at drawing. Showed one picture where he looked very handsome. Was so good at archery that he could compete. Had 3 cousins who he always hung out with, that were as close as siblings. He had back problems. Lavender was his chosen aroma when he was feeling sick. Was in an accident where he had to be revived 7 times. Tried to commit suicide.

All lies.

He completely shattered my heart and I will never ever forgive him for that. And I dont think I ever forgave myself for being that trusting again and consequently am very much less trusting now.

I had believed everything he said, wasnt suspicious about any of it, until the accident. It just didnt sit right with me that having been revived 7 times, he was able to get on the computer just a few hours later :/
But him being a good friend, I gave him the benefit of the doubt, thinking he was just exaggerating a bit, or the time was off, or something.

It wasnt until he one day Instant Messaged me saying he didnt want to live anymore and not to expect to see him onlne ever again, implying he was going to commit suicide, then logged off.

I spent the next 3 days not sleeping. Sitting by the computer hoping he would log in. I had no way of contacting him as he had not given me his address or phone number. When it happened I did believe him and I was so distraught that I couldnt do anything to prevent it or help him. I cried my eyes out, didnt sleep, couldnt eat and spent all that time trying to find his address based on his name (though he said it wasnt listed, it was private)
I was about to phone the police in California and have them hunt him down (despite not having much money to make the call) when he logged into AIM.

I almost died of shock and of course pounced him. He then merely apologised for saying what he said and then went on to make a few posts on the forum and then logged out as if it hadnt been a big deal.

I was completely crushed. I had honestly believed that a good friend of mine was going to try and kill himself and had spent days in anguish not knowing if he was dead or dying or ok.

I could have killed him with my bare hands. No kidding. I was livid. Never before in my life have I been so angry with someone, ever. And I told him that, and I told him I did not ever want to speak to him again, because of what he had put me through.
He of course begged me not to, wrote several poems dedicated to me, apologised left and right, but I just couldnt.

And it was when I was this angry with him that I started to look into some of the things he had claimed. The drawings he claimed were his, I found on the net made by other artists, the archery competition he claimed to have attended never happened (my friend was an archery coach and knew all the competitions)

He was a pathological liar and I was the stupid blond that had fallen for all his lies, every single one of them and had been completely crushed.

How could he put me through 3 days of hell and just brush it off? How could he be so callous?

He is a sorry excuse for a human being and I regret having met him and regret being so trusting.

I sure did learn my lesson the hard way.